October 5, 2002
A few days back, September 30, I celebrated the twenty-eighth year of having survied a traumatic brain injury. The anniversary was rife with feelngs of what might have been in my life had it not been for the tragic event. Feelings of anger at God for letting it take place have come to the surface. I am also let with a sense of aloneness in the world, but that has been a part of me for a long time, now. I feel like I could have done so much more had it not been for this head injury. The feelings are of guilt and regret, the former being false and the latter being accurate. My therapist and I discussed these in some detail yesterday. I am trying to get a realistic sense of who I am outside of the realm of my conditions. What I have been able to come up with is being an artist, a healer and spiritualist. I want peace of mind, but struggle to find that little jewel.
That will do it for now.